August 20, 2004 - 3:39 p.m.

tree insults:

you're so skinny, people could saw your trunk with a few cuts to make matchsticks.

you're so tall, you can't grow anymore or you'll cross the earth's atmosphere and hit outer space.

you're so old, your rings compete with Saturn's.

you're so dumb, you tried to grow an apple even though you know you're not an apple tree.

your wood is so soft, people use it to make mattresses.