November 24, 2003 - 9:11 p.m.

it would be an incredible feat for a christmas tree to grow its own ornaments.

i wouldn't want christmas trees to be able to grow their own lights, though. too many people would try to exploit christmas trees for their lights.

there are plenty of animal advocates out there who protest things like chicken farms, but who would protest a christmas tree light farm? people haven't reached that level of compassion yet.