April 23, 2002 - 10:27 p.m.

i looked in the yellow pages for 'trees'. here are the tree-related categories i found:

tree consultants
tree service
trees
trees-artificial

here are some of the tree-related ads and/or slogans from the tree section:

'Natural Tree & Lawn Care: Environmentally friendly pest control and organic fertilization, Naturally!'
(seems nice and natural.)

'Boston Tree Preservation: Health Care for Your Trees'
(just like for people! i like that.)

'CBR Tree Service: Trees Pruned. Large Limbs Removed. Specializing in Hard to Reach Places.'
(yikes! i'd better not let elana see this.)

'ACE Discount Prices: Tree Removal & Stump Grinding.'
(how horrible! lord have mercy! i didn't know such cruelty could exist! elana, hold me, this is scary!)